Choose a Girl

It’s clear from their reactions that they don’t hear those things very often, if at all. I recommend taking this approach and applying it to your own sex life. What are your own descriptors for what you love doing? How do you like to express yourself verbally in bed? Talking dirty doesn’t have to be dirty in the conventional sense.

“Fuck Me Harder” – The Ultimate Guide on How to Talk Dirty

• He was apologetic, and he never used that word again in my presence.
• How boring would sex be if we stuck to some artificial script?
• When you vocalize what feels good, what needs some work, or that your clitoris is just a little bit higher, and you’d really love it if your partner could focus all their energy there, then you both benefit.

Remember, these are just guidelines to tailor to your and your partner’s likes, kinks, and fetishes. Learning how to talk dirty to a woman or someone with a vagina is no different than learning how to talk dirty to a man or someone with a penis, so see what feels most natural and exciting and go from there. In Chapter 2, we discussed how it’s NOT the actual dirty talking phrases you use that are most important, but HOW YOU SAY THEM. Once you master the proper voice tone, inflections and body language, you will feel like you are a superhero with the ability to turn your man on and make him act like a horny teenager without much effort at all. If that’s the case, he suggests, you could “bring up dirty talk before or after a sexual encounter, so that a sense of arousal is still felt” by your partner.

We and our partners process data to provide:

Is there anything worse than when dirty talk turns bad? The right words whispered by candlelight can make your skin feel like it’s being licked by flames, but all it takes is a single cringy sentence (or even word) to completely kill the mood. Dirty talk isn’t just delivering a monologue so heinous it would make a sailor jealous; it’s about tapping into your imagination to build-up sexual tension. Whether you’re engaging in verbal foreplay before a hookup or uttering passionate prose to your one-night-turned-Mr. Right, fervent communication can be a massive turn-on for everyone.

Remote healthcare provider Superdrug Online Doctor, 1 in 5 participants reported stopping sex in the act because an unsuccessful attempt at sexy repartee turned them off. Dirty talk, when done correctly, can be a huge turn-on. There’s nothing like hearing exactly what your partner wants to do to you and how they’d like to do it, or hearing them compliment you on your intimate bits. I can’t even tell you how much of my dirty talk has revolved around pizza. I figure if there’s no laughing in there at some point, then we’ve just taken ourselves too seriously. It’s always nice when you can still surprise yourself, isn’t it?

You’re not alone if the prospect of dirty talk (beyond « yes » and miscellaneous moans) makes you feel awkward. This one stage is where dirty talking is the most powerful. Introducing it at this point will rocket the tension and anticipation sky high, and cruise at altitude for the rest of the session.

Use adjectives to up the hotness, without going overboard. « Dirty talk creates a kind of feedback loop of energy between you and your partner, » she said. « If you’re really feeling what you’re saying, it’s going to turn them on. » As it turns out, my European date is not alone in his honest response to erotic language misfires.

Dirty talk might feel awkward, especially at first, but you’ll find your rhythm with time and practice. Mastering how to talk dirty is all about consent and creativity. These tips will help you speak your mind in person and over text. Cordingley suggests just practicing some racy words or phrases out loud when you’re alone so you can get more comfortable hearing yourself say them. Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more!